Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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