i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
