He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
