Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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