Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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