Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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