I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
