We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
bring money and cleavage
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
