Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
