shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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