hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
