Someone shit on the floor
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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