chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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