Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
