i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
