I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
