He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
