I didn't shave. On purpose
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
