she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
