I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
But theres a keg here and me gusta
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
