i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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