he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
