There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
