"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
