There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
