I didn't shave. On purpose
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
