I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
