As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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