During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Two words: blizzard sex
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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