i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
