So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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