He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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