I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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