when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
