well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
