I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
