woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
