dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
