hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
