Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found the puke drawer
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Randomize