I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
