i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
