ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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