he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
