i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
