I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
