im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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