It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
