My nipple is on Facebook.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize