Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
