Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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