he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
