Its about making memories worth repressing
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
