I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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