So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Actions speak louder than pants.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
