i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Pants are for mortals
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
