Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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