the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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