question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
