remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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