it was like eating out sand paper
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
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No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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