what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
