You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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