I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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