I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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