I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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