oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
