Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
