Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I skipped work to stalk him.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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