If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Shame - the story of my life.
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